I am actually exhausted right now. I feel like I'm already drained by the expectations this program (course) wants me to do. Yesterday when I got home tired, weary and super weak as in, My dad and mom give me a dozen of " demands", they even got angry at me when I forgot to put my clothes to laundry, they gave me words and cuss that made me in distress. That's why I answered them in an illed manner way while crying, I said to them "  I'm tired"... really tired. And I point out to them that I have a really hard time coping up withmy subjects because what I said earlier, it's all in the demands of this course. From the quizzes, long exams, NCP's, case studies and even case presentation really gave me a heartache. I know I am not in the position to answer my parents in such way, but I hope that they will understand me, and instead of givine me burden they should give me the support that I ought to have because they are my parents, they should see my worth. I am doing this not for my own good, but for the good of them. they want to go to states, so be it, that is why I am studying Nursing.

I know it's kinda rude and it is a not an adnirable attitude from a son. But I've already done it. Stress and hardwork plus patience, darn! So i decided not to go with them yesterday and decided to stay to my uncles and cousin. I am not that lonely in class especially in the hospital setting, my friends are with me. Even in our duties I am never tired because of my groupmates whom I considered my best pals in my Nursing career.

I think that I am getting too dramatic this week, and it is not me anymore. I am so fierce and tough when handling such problems. I don't know, I really don't know. I love Group 2, my RLE group, so much not all of them really. They are my fortress in our duties. And on the other day, There is a not really fight, but almost a fight, It is because of a piece of stethoscope, my Stethoscope specifically that triggered the arguments. One of my groupmate "lopez" blamed "ralph" as the one who get it because I can't find it and it is vital signs time. And the steth I am pertaining to is a Littman classic that my aunt gave me before, It is a very special steth because it is her personal use since '96. That's why I am taking care of it like a pet. Going back, I know I am also to blame because I even doubted ralph's statement that he is not the one who used it or hide it. So he goes out like a mad killer and I follwed him and said to me with power and intense "'Tang ina mo, Sisihin nio ako". I even him push him to guard myself. And it is my first time to see him acting like that, because personally he is not like that, he is quiet and always laughing. But from that moment I saw him like a dragon with ears flaming hot.

 So i decided not to talk to him or not to bother him anymore. Unfortunately my steth is being used by Nox then. And tetay even come between the two of us and she even said "mag shake hands na nga kayo, I laugh inside inisip ko "PArang bata naman masyado tong atake na to",  But my pride is as high as the peak of Mount everest that I will not apologize for that mistake. And I even asked our Instructor that if she can allow me to step out of the duty that day. But she said to me "kakain mo lang, aalis ka na naman". lol. And I have no guts to see my patient anymore, because he is my buddy for that day and pride kills me. The staff asked me to obseve the IV bottle because we will discontinue it that day, so I have no choice but to act professionally then there he comes. But I think our patient is the mediator  because of the plato wraps that may patient gave us with that chunky chicken inside we became ok. One thing I learned from this is never doubt a friend. Doubt a stranger but not a friend, and not to blame someone if you have no proof. But i think it is healthy to fight with a friend even Jesus and Peter fight once, but if you really are friends then there are no boundaries for forgiveness.

After that we played l4d with emerson and Nox and martian as well. With tha kind of scene, I started to get nostalgic and again missed highschool. I miss my life, the way I live highschool is so great  that every moment of my life I will cherish it. The friends I have on highschool are like precious stones to me, to be kept and to be treasured. Second to my family I have my college friends and my highschool friends. The word friend is very broad, you can never use it to a certain person once you appreciated the meaning of it or once you learn how to be a friend. I wanna go back to highschool. I turned on the radio last night and coincidentally the song is somewhat like this " highschool life oh ang highschool life, every memory kay ganda" .

 

So much for the drama. I just want to give my symphaty and condolences to the relatives and family of the late Michael Jackson, he really is a pop icon, but sorry for him I am not a fan. So MJ wherever you are just BEAT IT......

Now Listening to: maternal and child nursing
Now feeling: stressed
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