Me and the HAPPY BEACH will finally meet.

Excited Much!

I'm going with ze brus! 

 

Now Listening to: Someone who'll watch over me
Now Reading: Sureseats.com
Watching: none
Now feeling: EXCITED
1 Joined my coffee table.

I finish a pack of smuggled 1kg fine white sugar today.

Yes, they are all in my stomach now. :D

Right now I just feel like jumping hard and to scream my fucking lungs out. HEH HEH. I literally scream so much that my throat hurts now.

I'm so missing my goddamnedcoolandcrazybutohsogreatgang. xD Uh-uh you know who you're baby. You're my treasure, my soothing moonlight. Siapa lagi kalau bukan Nez, Unice, Drain, Noel, Kel, CF, Jer, Kai, Chak, Anan, --- this is taking too much space.

Well you know who you are. So you better laporkan diri to me soon :D

I got an A for my bio-mock. I mean--- for not studying until the last 5-10 minutes of the exam; I think it's considered good already. Thank you Candyman for your notes. I should be satisfied. I got a C for my Moral Studies. Ah well, a C isn't something to be proud of--- but passing it is already a miracle. I don't even know what I did for it.

Well thanks to mai fun moral group friends. TQ for the marks!
(they were so hardworking. I have no idea what I was doing tho. I think I did nothing. LOL)

How do you find the strength to let go?
Telling yourself that everything has ended never works. 
What the hell... is going on.

Damn you sugar.

Now Listening to: Imagen - Hide and seek optik remix
Now Reading: Shin Chan Tee
Now feeling: whuat?
2 Joined my coffee table.

Yesterday, when I got home, I somehow concluded that I don't understand relationships. For one thing, relationships are complicated.

Hmm..Oh well.

Donna, despite being in a "troubled" situation, somehow managed to answer my mind-boggling questions (or maybe just to shut me up ), that I really have no idea where it would lead to, or in simple terms, questions that are pointless when asked, but best answered when it happens.

But then again, I was inquisitive so I still asked her. Haha

Anyway, she tried her best.

Here are some of the questions that I asked her:

* Do you think there's a thing such as love at first sight?

* Is it possible to have a relationship without anyone getting hurt?

* Why should somebody get hurt in a relationship?

* How can you tell when one loves more than the other?

I think I asked her a lot on that day.

I really don't know why I was asking these questions, but maybe it's because of the fact that I wanted to simplify complicated things.

Because seriously, I really don't get complicated relationships. Maybe I'll understand these things when the right time comes.

 

 

1 Joined my coffee table.

I've been waiting for myself to heal to jog like mad again.

I've been waiting for money to buy lingeries and to DDR~!

I've been waiting to go inline-skating like mad again!!!

I've been waiting to get the time to bake again.

DAMN. I really wanna draw.

Stanley made me feel like drawing again.

And I have zero time for all these.

I just found out not long ago that I have exam tomorrow. =/

WHAT? I HAVEN'T STUDY A THING!

Now Listening to: The River - Good Charlotte
Now feeling: Dunno what to do. omfg.
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Nagkalat ang suka sa kwarto. Nagulat ako nakayakap sa kin si Justin. Super tanggal talaga ko ng kamay niya. Grabe lang talaga. Hindi man lang nahiya sa kin. Panalo si Tom and Wesley. Hindi man lang ako nakapagbabay sa mga nagsi-alisan nung umaga. Ubos lahat nung bote ng alak. Marami pang food ang natira. Nagcheck out kami ng 12PM. NagLunch kami sa Sentro sa may Serendra. Greenhills, Eastwood, binisita si Tom. Kumain Terriyaki Boy. Umuwi. Hindi ako makahinga ngayon...

Now feeling: sad
1 Joined my coffee table.

At some point, you've got to man up and jump.  You've got to quit being scared of the "maybes" and "what-ifs" and just freaking jump.  Quit cheating yourself out of the best thing that could ever happen to you.  Quit cheating him out of what he's wanted for so long, and just fall.  Fall hard, fall long, and fall forever.

3 Joined my coffee table.

an email was sent. can't think straight. meet or not to meet. feeling is there, so heartbreaking. but it might be good for closure or not. it might be bad, i might fall hard again. i hate making this decision.

3 Joined my coffee table.

How does one define friendship? I don't know. I'm not an expert in friendship anyway.

And yet, despite of my lack of expertise in this particular field, I still have learned a few things or so.

Hmm..what I do know is that friendship is not something defined, it is done. Something like Philosophy. You only get to know it, by having an experience in it.

After a few years, I have learned that in order to know who your real friends are, you have to endure squabbles, petty fights, a lot of betrayals, (oh yes, those damn betrayals) you name it.

I have also learned that friendship is not defined by the time you spend with each other, but how you make time for each other and feeling each other's company is just timeless, where everything's a blur and you don't care about the world as long as your view of your friends is clear, and the rest is nothing to you. That's what a good time is. You walk, you talk, and you have fun. I believe it is something endless.

Okay.

Enough of that. No more mushy reflections. Haha

***

Last Thursday was the laziest day ever. For the first time, I, who is known to be at least physically present in class, invited three people to cut French with me. Ha! Bad girl Isah. Oh well. 

Maybe I just needed a break from it all. From everything.

Every once in a while, you have to come to a point that you have to break some rules. But I'll leave it to that day only. 

***

You know, I was diagnosing myself and I've realized something:

Fear leads to a lot of things. Hmm..it would start small, and then it would eat you up. Nah, I'm just exaggerating. But it does lead from one point to another, it's like an infection. Hahaha! Now I don't know what I'm blabbering about here.

Hmm, it begins with the fear of getting hurt.

and then it evolves (Lol evolve. Like a creature or Pokemon or something xD) into a bigger kind of fear. And then, that fear would in a way sum up one of your most-kept principles. And so what you do is the best thing to ignore and stop that fear, which is to come up with a reason.

Okay, okay enough. Seriously, I'm just blabbing and typing away for the sake of blogging.

I remember asking a friend how would somebody know that it's time to overcome a certain fear. I think she said something like being ready to meet a bigger kind of fear than what you feared at first.

Hmm, I don't exactly remember anymore. Haha

***

You know sometimes, I think we should embrace the "inner child" among us. I'm not saying that we should be childish, or immature, or any of that crap. But, what I'm saying is that we should view life in the way babies or children see it. To them, everything's simple. That the world is full of wonder. It's just that, from an adult's point of view, everything else is complicated no matter what.

Sometimes, we ignore the subtle hints that life brings us.

Okay, so maybe I'm being vague here and you probably think I escaped from the asylum or something, so I'll give an example.

There was a time when I was in Umbridge's house and I was observing my baby cousins. Adolf, who is age three was busy showing off his production number of Michael Jackson hits, while his baby sister, Azee, age one was dancing along his brother.

Azee was so busy dancing along with her brother, that she fell down. She cried of course, like any baby would . And then Yaya encouraged her and she laughed, smiled, then stood up--and danced again.

See? Sometimes we ignore the simplest things and yet we learn a lot from those small things.

What's  the point of my story?  The point of my story is that when things bring us down, there are people that encourage us, and then we laugh, we smile, and we stand up and move on.  Maybe that's what we should all do. To just go ahead.

Sure, from a child's point of view, there was pain, she got hurt when she fell down, but then, she found the courage to stand up again, and do her own thing.

Now, what I have observed was a simple story of hope, of pain, of fear, of moving on, a bit of life. Maybe you get to learn these things simply from story books that children read.

But the thing is, since we are all too "grown up" to pay attention to such "childish wonder," we ignore these supposedly precious lessons.

Yes, I admit, grown-ups could be stubborn too.

You know what, we should listen to children too. Just because we think we are too old, or that we know more doesn't mean that children don't know anything, when in fact they were the ones who first showed or , made us realize what we should be doing all along.

***

On a lighter note:

Lol. There was this thing in the village wherein a statue of Mama Mary was supposed to go from house to house, and I was really debating with my mom not to let the statue in because I'm not really the type of person that does rituals, novenas and the like.

Of course, I lost my battle.

I always lose, because to my Mom, it's like I badly need it as if she was having the devil's daughter in her family instead of a nice, perfect, religious daughter that she expects me to be.

My philosophies about faith is really something my religious Mom would never understand.

Ha! Oh well.

Anyway, so today was the day that the statue was supposed to be here.

I was ironing my school uniform, when I heard singing people that really brought the creeps in me. I was so creeped out that I started muttering , "Oh..holy shit. They're here. Shit. Shit. Shit." Why? because it was so creepy that it was like a cult song. Come on, why can't religious songs be happy? Or at least not a tad bit creepy?

Quickly, I turned off the iron, and ran as fast as I could upstairs and locked myself up in my room. Hahaha. Weird? Yeah, I know. It just gave me the creeps.

Donna once shared a story where they had the statue in their house, but then she didn't get to pray to it before it left and she got really sick. Yes, like it leaves a curse or something. Waay..too creepy.

Okay, don't get me wrong here, I won't completely ignore it. I'll just acknowledge its presence whenever I leave, at least to pay respect even if I don't do the rituals.

For now, I'll try my best not to get too freaked out on the statue.

 

 

 

 

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